i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
your like the ambassador to my penis.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
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