I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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