that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
