make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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