i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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