So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
