I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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