Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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