all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
