Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
