Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
