Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
