2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
