He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize