That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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