I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize