I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize