At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize