Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
