i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
