Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
