I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
