Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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