I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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