I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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