the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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