just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
