Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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