I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
