highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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