I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Are my feet made of real feet?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You have to summon your inner elephant
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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