I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
