You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
