I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
