What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
