Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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