i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
