I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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