Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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