1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dual....:-)
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
