You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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