So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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