Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
