OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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