I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize