I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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