I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
