I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
