I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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