Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
