So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
