I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
