....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
