too bad you live with your parents still
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
