Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
