My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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