I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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