im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
