It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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