i barfeds in our rink
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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