you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
