hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
