Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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