If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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