She's JV to your varsity
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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