I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
