i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
