Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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