Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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