I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So many bounce houses so little time
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
