; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I didn't shave. On purpose
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
