remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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